You are an asshole, and you have ugly glasses. When I asked to see the new iPod touch, I meant out of the box. When we suggested they might be easier to sell if you could actually show them to people, I didn't need to hear your snobby, snarky remarks about how you "had no trouble selling them." The only people who buy a $400 MP3 player without ever seeing it work are morons. And no self-respecting Future Shop employee would want all their customers to be morons. I simply can not believe this of mankind.

So yes, I trust Apple. And no, I haven't heard anything bad about the iPod Touch. But it's been out for about a week, so I haven't exactly heard anything good about it either. And thanks for letting me know that it was "just like an iPhone." Too bad those aren't available in Canada! And it was awfully informative of you to let me know that it has no buttons, and is "very cool." It's not like I may have heard that anywhere before. And thats way more important than any technical specs you could give me anyways.

I'm a sixteen year old girl, you idiot! Do you honestly think I would blow a month's pay from my minimum-wage job in the fast-food industry on something I had never even held in my hand? Do I look stupid to you?! And as for the guy in the computer department who said "Hi" to me, but asked the other guy in the aisle if he needed any help, don't think you're getting away with that either. FYI, I wasn't watching the monitors because the moving pictures of a screensaver fascinate me beyond belief, I was watching them because I was trying to decide which monitor had the best picture quality. You have some pretty damn expensive monitors, and there is a good chance I will be purchasing one within the next 6 months. Guess who isn't getting the sale? That's right.. you!

Sorry for the rant, but honestly. What is it going to take for me to get some credit here? It's the twenty-first century! I'm a bigger Apple geek than you, AND I look better in a skirt, so you can think twice before you fucking patronize me!

-Mel

(I can't decide whether I meant that last statement to be ironic, or sarcastic, or 100% serious. I'll leave it up to you for interpretation.)

I feel absolutely terrible about not signing Amanda's birthday banner, so I'm dedicating this post to her. And I thought I'd share:

The Top 5 Reasons Amanda is Awesome

5. She will probably actually read this, because she reads almost all my blogs even though they consist mostly of incoherent ramblings.

4. The fact that I make fun of pretty much everything in existence doesn't really seem to bother her.

3. She actually understands me, something I can say of very few people.

2. She stood up at Montana's and took the humiliation, even though she obviously didn't want to.

1. She won't mind that I couldn't narrow down all our funny stories and inside jokes to this one point and so I rambled on some more instead.

Anyhow, I'm sorry I haven't written in 2 monthes. School is.. well it's school. It's alright I guess. I'll be updating more now that I'm stuck here at home all the time. Keep your eyes peeled.

Love,

Mel xx

I went up to the cottage this weekend. A little cottage on Lake Catchacoma, between Buckhorn and Bobcaygen. Middle of nowhere. We've been there twice before. And I'm not quite sure why we keep going back, but that has to say something about the place. Many interesting things happened to us there. And by interesting I mean crappy.

1. The temperature never went above 65 degrees.

2. We only went tubing once, and the water was too cold to even consider swimming or waterskiing.

3. It rained. A lot. As in every hour, on the hour.

4. I got about a zillion mosquito bites.

5. My "aunt"(Ok, so she's a friend of the family, but that involves a long explanation, which I guess I just gave you anyways) dropped her glasses through the dock. We got in the water. We searched. We went to the marina, who was sold out of goggles. We visited two neighbouring cottages to find some. We raked the bottom of the lake with a fishing net. After two and a half hours of searching, a rigged fishing line, what I diagnoseed as a very mild case of hypothermia, and half a dozen glass bowls, we found them!

6. While running up the steps to the cottage in flip flops, my sister fell. We iced her arm. We called TeleHealth. By 7:00 pm on Sunday(our last night) we were on our way to the hospital in Lindsay. Its an hour drive, and apparently it is a very small town, because the triage nurses were completely overwhelmed by the three whole patients waiting in the Emergency waiting room. We decided they could never hack it at St. Joe's. She now has a marvolous display of plaster on her arm. We leave for Myrtle Beach in two weeks and she is wearing a cast she can't get wet. Fun.

So I spent three days eating junk food and watching the game show network. The lyrics from the old Olivia and the Band song, Stars and Stripes come to mind. It doesn't matter where you are, it only matters who you're with. Never has that seemed more profoundly true.

So here's me, signing off and reminding you to turn every situation into a positive one.

Love,
Melissa

From all of us in Aerosmith, to all of you out there, remember. The light at the end of the tunnel.. could be you.
- Aerosmith's Amazing

I'm sick of bluffing my way through high school. I'm sick of writing suck-uppy, bull-shit essays that I don't mean a word of. And I'm sick of my idiotic, shallow teachers reading this crap and eating it up. I'm sick of my mom starting fights and blaming them on me, because she can never be fucking wrong. So it's always my fault no matter what I say or do. And I'm sick of apologizing for things that are not my fucking fault. Screw this! I wish it was SUMMER! I'm tearing my hair out.

Evidence:(a report my mom won't let me hand in)

How does Jesus feed me in my life?
I’m afraid I don’t understand this question at all, but I know you want a piece of writing, so here goes nothing.

In the world we live in, in the society we live in, religion is hard to understand. In growing up Catholic, we are forced into traditions, customs and rituals we don’t understand, let alone grow closer to God through. We got through our confirmation, for example, but I know, for me at least it didn’t strengthen my faith. I believe in religion, and in a higher power. I think we all need to believe there is something out there. And if asked I suppose I would respond that I believe in God. But it’s hard to know for sure. I was raised to believe in God, but I have never had the chance to find him on my own. And until I do, how can I really know? I couldn’t answer your question, “how does Jesus feed me” for the same reason many other students will make up an answer that is meaningless to them. To us, or to me anyways, all these questions sound alike, and none are really important to us. This text book, and these questions were written by people with a strong conviction that their religion is the right religion. But we are still growing, and our faith does not have that strength. And frankly, answering questions that assume we do, does not help. So I could have written you an answer full of fluff, explaining something about Jesus being a role model in my life. But it wouldn’t have been true, and I wouldn’t have meant any of it. So instead, I hope you’ll accept this report, on why I simply do not know.

According to her I would get a zero on this. But isn't that better than making up some more fucking bullshit? Can you feel the anger here? Probably. I HATE THIS. GET ME OUT!

And I don't mean out of life, I'm not suicidal or anything. I like life. I just hate this crap. Anyways, time to finish my homework in half an hour so I can watch One Tree Hill and laugh at their problems for a while.

Here's looking at you, kid.

- Mel xx

I suggest you read my earlier blog first. It's only about 6 lines.

That made way more sense when I wrote it this morning. Long story short: I got home last night to find a message on my answering machine, begging me to take an open shift today. As I was listening to the message, the girl called again. She begged, she pleaded, she offered to pay me. In act of generousity and stupidity, I took the shift. I'm kinda tired now. So now I have volunteering to go to, a crew meeting for work, a flash movie on droughts to animate and half a season of Grey's Anatomy to watch. Oh and did I mention the 20, 000 word screenplay I'm writing by June 30? And my exams?

Ugh, this sucks.

By the way, want to know the best way to ruin a perfectly good song? Let some wannabe pussycat dolls(I refuse to capatilize their horrible name) sing it on TV. (Yes, I'm talking about Aerosmith's Don't Wanna Miss a Thing)

Bye everyone, see ya next time.

Mel xx

This is gunna be a quick one. I'll write a long blog later today about how shitty June has been so far. For now you can all just imagine by knowing that it is 5:40 AM and I am awake. Oh and Carley(from work) owes me, big time.

And no one can blame me for looking like hell this morning.

Wish me luck.

You want sarcasm, cynicism, and play reviews? My blog's got that.

The Venue? Calvin Christian School.
The Performance? "Go Fish"

The play began with a girl speaking in an extremely over dramatic voice and flipping her hair as many times as possible. We then learned that no one liked her and she wanted to be like everyone else. Can you say lesson waiting to be learned? Feels like an after school special. Then we were subject to the kindergartens singing a song no one could understand because they were all one milisecond off from the last one. It's like they plan it. So all you hear is "Nahh nahh nahh nahh nahh ahhh ahh ahhh laa la la la" until you want to scream! Anyways we were also treated to such showstopping hits as the rap song, "We're Sharks":

We are sharks, we've got three thousand teeth,
We're sharks, we're sharks, not the chickens of the sea *bawk bawk*

And the classic rodeo hit, "Roundup in the Ocean" which was sung by people in cowboy outfits who were evidently supposed to be "sea horses" and not "cowfish" as I had originally presumed.

In the end, the little girl realizes that people are all as different as the fishes in the sea, and promptly tells her mother that she is glad God made her special, and she can't wait to go play with her friends tomorrow. To which I wonder.. people are going to like you because you had a dream about fish?!

Now you probably think I'm mean. Those kids worked very hard on that "musical" and they are, after all, just kids. To which I reply, they constantly insult my clothes, my taste in music, my taste in movies, and my religious beliefs, and they've even made me sit through Star Wars and when I began to actually enjoy it, they told me all about how girls weren't allowed to like Star Wars. So I will damn well criticize their play if I want to. Though the puns were quite funny. And I did like the humourous seven-legged octopus.

Anyways, whats up with me right now, you ask? Nothing really. I just got home from school. Pretty boring day all in all, but hey, no homework, and Mr. Bergamo did let us watch Saving Private Ryan in history class. I feel like making a collage of pictures. I'm going to need my sister's memory card(from her camera) and a sheet of bristol board. Or maybe half a sheet, I'm not quite that ambitious. Of course I could use the other sheet to make that collage of shopping bags I was saving them for. I've got Chapters, World's Biggest Bookstore, Sam the Record Man, and I could probably dig out some more. Actually three things isn't quite enough, maybe I'll wait on that one. Anyways, this week's reccomendations for your dose of online fun:

Spiderman reviews all of Crayola's 96 colours. With Pictures.

A very poetic short film, about life, God, and the consequences of our actions. Actually incredibly creative.

Have a great day!

Love,
Melissa

Hey,

Welcome back to my life. Ok, so is it weird that I like to sit on railings? I just like to. And it seems really sexist, right, cause you would never see a guy sitting on a railing, ya know? But I really do like to. Anyways, it is so beautiful out. I'm so glad its spring. *sigh* We went out on the boat on Sunday, first time this season, so that was pretty cool.

I guess I don't really know what to say. I want to do something exciting. Something needs to come into my life and change things up a little! But until that happens I guess I'll only stray from reality when reading a really good book. And speaking of which, I'm currently reading 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. I'm trying to get through the classics, because I am a strong believer that no matter what your taste is, reading the classics helps you appriciate any good book even more. So I've read The Time Machine, Around the World in 80 Days, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, Murder on the Orient Express, The Fellowship of the Ring and several other, and I plan to read Pride and Prejudice, some Stephen King novels, and possibly everything else people decide to throw at me.

I'd also like to point you guys toward a great site, http://www.roosterteeth.com. Check out the comics and enjoy.

I also kind of felt like I should say something about the Virginia Tech tragedy. I am so sorry for the victims of the shooting, and my thoughts and prayers are with the families, friends, and students. And remember that sometimes we need to thank God for the simple thing in life. Like Bavarian sugar cookies..

"As Harold took a bite of Bavarian sugar cookie, he finally felt as if everything was going to be ok. Sometimes, when we lose ourselves in fear and despair, in routine and constancy, in hopelessness and tragedy, we can thank God for Bavarian sugar cookies. And, fortunately, when there aren't any cookies, we can still find reassurance in a familiar hand on our skin, or a kind and loving gesture, or subtle encouragement, or a loving embrace, or an offer of comfort, not to mention hospital gurneys and nose plugs, an uneaten Danish, soft-spoken secrets, and Fender Stratocasters, and maybe the occasional piece of fiction. And we must remember that all these things, the nuances, the anomalies, the subtleties, which we assume only accessorize our days, are in fact here for a much larger and nobler cause. They are here to save our lives. I know the idea seems strange, but I also know that it just so happens to be true."

So, so, utterly true.

Love,
Melissa xx

Hey Everyone.

Well semi-formal is at the end of the week, and I felt the need to post a new blog, but I don't really have anything important to say. I'm making a couple mix CDs, so if anyone has any ideas or wants a copy, just let me know. My life's going through a kind of change right now. My next-door neighbours are moving. I've grown up with them living next door and its going to be really weird to have new people there. I realize this is a bigger change for them, and its hard to explain but it's also hard to feel like something you always knew was there, is just going to be gone.

But enough on that. If anyone's reading this who used to go to St. Christopher's Elementary School, please come to the reunion! Sunday, April 29, 1-4 pm! I can't wait! I'm really looking forward to seeing everyone again.

I went to see Meet the Robinsons on Thursday night, and it was great. I'm just in a pretty good mood now. If you want to check out a cool site, look at http://idealist.blinkr.net I guaruntee you'll find something of interest.

Guess that's about all for now, I want to work on my CD.

Psychotically yours,
Melissa

*sings along*

everybody wants to know her name
i threw a houseparty and she came
everyone asked me, who the hell is she?
that weirdo with five colours in her hair

Five Colours in Her Hair - McFly

Alright, so first I'll just say that McFly is a great band. I'm mean if you like that Alanis Morissette-y, alternative, dark, brooding, I-never-go-out-and-my-life's-a-black-hole-of-depression kind of thing, you'd totally hate them. But really, who knew Brit-pop could sound so good?

Nextly let me just say that Disney on Ice was so much fun! First we went to Dollarama, where we stocked up on candy. Then we headed down to Swiss Chalet, where we had dinner, and discussed a bunch of random stuff. Then we went on to the main portion of the evening, Copps Colliseum, to see Disney on Ice, Mickey and Minnie's Magical Journey plus Lion King. Yeah, we weren't really expecting Lion King, but who doesn't want to see Pumba on skates, right? And we had fun playing I Spy, and laughing at random stuff, such as Jessica, who was totally wired. So we had a really good time, and we'll probably go again next year to make fun of the show, which is sheduled to be High School Musical on Ice. (They're taking over the world, they really are.)

Alright, and now, for no reason, whatsoever, I am going to talk about barbequing. I love to BBQ. It is so peaceful. I can just sit on the railing of our deck and listen to my iPod, sing along really loudly, and flip burgers every couple minutes, and the result is a hamburger! Life just doesn't get much better than that.

Alright, well I don't really have anything new to say right now, so I guess this is bye for now!

- Melissa xx

P.S. Ten more points to whoever can catch the embarrasing movie reference. Amanda C. won the last one, for anyone who was curious, lol.